Helping the wife out

So my wife Holly is in the middle of her masters program at North Western. She is a busy chick indeed! So I often ask her what, if any, kind of help I can help her with? She often returns that question with a diagram of whatever she is working on so she can use it in her power point presentation. SURE! I can do that!

Scaried Boy

I drew this boy a little while ago but still like how it turned out. I never put it up on this blog cause i never really put much in terms of drawings on the blog, but that is all changing now!

QuickSketches

So I was doodling quickly to try and see what can come of it and this is what came of it! =)

Sketching Again

Yes, I have returned to this familiar venue to once again share with people my thoughts and sometimes opinions. (Hopefully the ladder rarely offends anyone.) Also with this new outlook on this blog I will be adding sketches and other works. Hopefully this will make people smile because in all honesty, that is all I really want to do. So enjoy, respond, share with everyone this journal that I promise to keep flowing.


There is never a rhyme or reason for my drawings.

Round We Go

I sit upon,
this merry-go-round,
going up
going down
watching my world
turn all around
watching my youth
fade away
growing older everyday
holding on,
growing weak,
gasping for breath
unable to speak

Then the ride
slows on down
Theres no more time
to go around
When it stops
my turn is done
Its time for the youth
TO have their fun

Be Thankful for Heat

So its winter, something most people dread because of the harsh reality of the bitter cold. Some of us are reminded of this every morning when we must drag ourselves out of our warm and cozy bed to abuse our bodies to such climate of the outside world. I know first hand how this leaves your body to feel. Every morning I wake up all warm and toasty in my flannel covers staring out the window thinking to myself, will today be as cold as yesterday. Why do I even bother asking myself this because I know the answer, yes....yes you fool it will most likely be even colder. So I have to drag myself out of bed and sooner or later I am waking to the Metra and standing in the frigid winds waiting for the train to arrive. When it arrives my body gets to sit in a warm train, which is interesting because since my body has already been tampered with in the cold it doesn't really know how to react to this new found warmth. So it does its best to adjust and as soon as it begins to turn the train pulls into Union Station and I have to walk to work. This whole time I am thinking to myself, man this body can't figure out which knob is hot and which is cold. So when I finally get to the office my body says, "Dan, I am confused, I think I will just stay both hot and cold and you can feel the wrath of being sick!"
It is this thought that crosses my mind every morning that makes me wonder why I even bother showing up to work. Then it hits me, its because money is good and without it I wouldn't even have the comfy cozy flannel sheets that I woke up in.

This brings me to my actual point that I wanted to get to tonight. During this walk I see people who no one else really wants to see. I see these cold tired warn down humans that are treated like they might as well be ghost in this ever so lively world. I wonder how they came to be in their situation and what stories they have to give. I wonder if they used to wake up in flannel sheets ever and think the thoughts that I think every morning. This usually leaves me with a very overwhelming feeling of guilt knowing that I complain about something as sad as my walks from train to work while these poor unfortunate souls must endure the hardships of a bitter reality. So do everyone a favor, do not ignore these people because they are people, just like you and me. Wish them the best, throw your spare change their way, buy someone a hot chocolate while you which them a Merry Christmas and remember that maybe you don't have it nearly as bad as you might imagine....

The Christmas Spirit

As long as I could remember this time of the year has always been filled with such magic that one could hardly describe. All my life I have cherished this time of the year. The kind side of humanity often shows itself which is a rare treat indeed. "Tiss the season," they say as complete strangers hold doors open for each others. I for one, am all about the Christmas spirit, the idea of simple acts of kindness toward your friends, family, and yes, even strangers. I have hung my stockings with great care, and decorated my tree with memories of my Christmas past. Yet this year has been especially challenging for me. Call it a bad economy, call it the times we live in. Hell, call it whatever you want to call it, people are having a hard time finding their happiness. Last night I watched It's a wonderful Life and I realized something. I realized that George Baily had it right. He wasn't the richest man or the most powerful man, but he was a kind loving man, who shared his compassion with everyone. I know I am dragging on with my inconsistent thoughts, and believe me, I wish I was a bit warmed up to do my welcoming back blog. The harsh reality of this blog was that I needed to express my concerns with this holiday, this Christmas.
I have a little sister, you see, who seems to be having the hardest time finding her Christmas spirit. Maybe she lost it somewhere along her past Christmas's, or maybe she simply misplaced it this year. Either or, I find it sad that I have little power to help her realize the truth of Christmas. Understand this, I love her dearly and I want her to be able to see Christmas as I see it. She worries about buying gifts and buying the wrong gifts. She worries about receiving gifts because she is unsure how to react in front of the giver. She stresses that the holiday is out to get her and I am starting to think she is right. Well kind of right that is. Christmas has been transformed into a holiday of gifts and wants and selfish hopes. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy a good gift every now and then. I would be lying if I said otherwise. The truth is though, the gifts I look forward to are the thoughtful gifts that cost very little. I am a sentimental fool no doubt, someone who cherishes the act of a kind thought over the weight of the dollar spent. I wish my little sister could realize this for her own sake, for her view of Christmas. I told myself this year that I would do everything in my power to help her. Although I have tried, I have failed. This by no means is me raising the white flag, I do not break under such regards. Yet, I am unsure of my next move. I cannot force the spirit on to people because I believe people need to find it themselves, with a little guidance of course. If I were to write a letter to Santa myself I would ask him for no gift for myself, but for him to help my sister along and guide her to the much needed smile.
I find myself rambling along with this topic. It is something I find near to my heart. So I will leave you with this thought, my Christmas thought. Stop following the pressures of modern Christmas. If you need to, watch an old movie or two to get you in the holiday mood. The most important idea of Christmas isn't the gift you give or get, it isn't the pressure you should place on yourself, but it's yours friends and family. Its the simple act of a hug to someone who really needs it. Its the compassion that you can show to the world. Be kind to strangers, write a letter by hand, help a neighbor with something. Be kind, share, and love. Life is a treat, to short to carry such heavy emotions like anger or hatred.
Thanks again to everyone who have asked me time and time again to continue my blog. It was you all that helped me realize that people actually read and sometimes take what I have to say to heart. Thanks again

Back again

SO it has been some time since I have last posted anything along any lines of what some may call a blog. Call it what you may, but my time had gotten somewhat hectic over the past year or so, meaning there has been a ton of events that interjected within my life. So I am here to apologize to anyone who was a faithful reader. (from what I gather, there were a few that had requested that I start up again) So here I am, ready to start up my writing about whatever crosses my mind. I have said this before and I will say this again. These thoughts that I write in this blog can be taken with a grain of salt if you want them to be. Otherwise, take the time to appreciate someone elses point of view and hopefully, you might realize that whatever is happening in your life, might be happening in others. Thank you all.

Dan

Hopes, Dreams, and Dirty Socks

You ever wonder where dreams go to pass away? Not those dreams that you have while your sleeping that seem to, more often then not, confuse ones restless night. Rather the dreams that we have as children of what we want to be? As children we aspire to reach the top of some sort of ladder whether it be as an astronaut, the president, a doctor or a teacher that seemed to influence us one way or another. I had an idea about this today, something that just simply crossed my mind and on its way of crossing it tripped and dug in deep. What did I want to be growing up? Really? This was actually harder then I thought. I knew I had my strong point and I new I had my weak points, my weakest being spelling and math. I thought back to what I wanted to do growing up, all my dreams seemed way out of this world. "oh I want to be a journalist!" What? Yeah believe it or not, that crossed my head today as something that I aspired to be. That faded away around 7th grade when I realized that I loved to write, just not about anything truly relavent to most peoples lives, oh and as I mentioned earlier, I sucked at spelling. What else could I be? "Oh I could be an artist!" I was pretty good at art, drew a lot, mostly superheroes and dragons and god knows what else. But I never knew of an artist that got paid and could make a living off their art. "Ohh, I want to make videogames!" HAHAHAH, yeah what 12 year old didn't want to make videogames. So as with anything, time passes and a 12 year old grows up. Little league ends, ones childhood simply fades into a high school life.

PAUSE- did you see it happen? Did you see where most peoples dreams go to pass away peacefully?

It seems that adulthood has a way of creeping up on children. It happens to all of us. One day we are playing four square in Mrs. Layer the dragon slayer class, (yeah we were young and it rhymed and she was our gym teacher!) and the next minute we are worried about money, responsibilites, life, fitting in, and what the hell we have to do to stay a float. What is interesting about this is that the simpliest of ideas as a child actually could be fruitfull as a career, but most people never can retrieve their dreams from the futhest corner of childhood thoughts where those dreams fade off.

What we are left with instead of dreams is hope. I hope that it all works out. I hope we can pay the bills, I hope so and so likes me. This isn't a bad quality, we all as humans, tend to lean on hope at our most dire times. It's this hope that helps us move forward.

Let's think about this all. I have just regurgitated a lot of useless crap.

A break down if you will: As children we all dream. Yet somewhere along the way, we are either told that those dreams are just as they are, dreams. Or we simply pack those silly dreams away and hope that tomorrow will bring something fruitfull for that day. Fair enough. So I want you to think about something. Think about what you dreamed to be. Think about if you got close or if you are actually living it! Think about anyone who is trying to live their dream. They may need help, words of wisdom, an ear to listen, and most of all encouragement. There is simply nothing finer then realizing a dream and setting out on high hopes. And nothing finer to help someone who may need to find their way back to those dreams

Oh yeah, dirty socks- they suck! When you end up running out of clean sucks and you have to throw on a dirty pair (dont ask its been a hectic week) they never seem to fit the same. Thats all I have on dirty socks

The Brighter Side of the Rainbow

Are you more of the glass is half empty crowd? Or do you see the glass half full? It has become apparent to me that a majority of people approach life in a negative way. When was the last time you walked up to someone and said, "Hey, you know what? You are one awesome person?" Yeah that is as likely as winning the lottery now a days, and surprisingly feels just as rewarding. I bring this up because in todays hustle and bustle of life a person might find themselves slammed with so much responsibility that they find it hard to find that bright side of the rainbow. It's true, one can't always look at the bright side, we all need are fair share of bad days. The way I see it is that without these bad days our good days would never seem so good. Yet if you see someone who might be having a bad day, sitting there with a frown plastered to there face as if the world itself is literally weighing upon their shoulders, pay them a compliment. Say hello, how are you, i hope you have a great day today! It could be your words that actually change that person bad day into a good day, heck, maybe even a great day. You might be surprised how much better you will feel by just looking at the brighter side of life. I have come to realize that people carry all their burdons with them as chains of pain, remorse, depression, and any other sickness that might feel like its weighing you down. yet when we are happy it feels that these chains are gone and if not gone, at least weightless for the moment. So I say to you, you out there who seems to always being staring at that glass that is half empty and pondering how you are going to fill it up so it can get full again. I say to you, turn that frown upside down and look to compliment someone. (if your not sure on what to say think of what might make you feel good about yourself). I assure you by expressing your kindness and generosity, you might not only free up some of your chains, you might loosen the recipients chains as well.

Death becomes us

Originally posted last night- which catches us up

So i was sitting watching October Road, which by the way is a pretty remarkable show, and a theme came to my mind. See tonights show was about death and how someone from ones past, far past ends up passing away. Of course from the passing comes memories that up until this point have completely evaded our day to day lives. Watching tonight though, many thoughts came flashing in front of my eyes. What if this was me? Not the dying but the living, who knows that one person who passed. That one person who left an unforgettable bookmark in the chapter of my life? I thumbed through my memory roladex and seem to find myself short on memories. Yet the more I watched the more unknown memories came flooding in to evoke some sort of chain reaction of heart throbbing feelings. I came from a small town where it seemed everyone knew everyone. Not unlike that of October Road. I grew up on a dead end street and had a baseball field in my back yeard. I had many friends who I adored and played tag and other crazy games. Older now I seem to find myself remember the negative side of my personality and how I might have treated certain people. Hell, plain and simple, I had a sharp tongue and never really recognized the full potential of what my words could actually do to people. To that I give a heartfilled apology now. Yes, late indeed but never to late.
I swapped roles in my head toward the show. What if I was the one who passes? What would people say if they came across that frontline news plastered on the small local paper? Even knowing that I seem to find myself trying to figure out how I can go forward. I think there was a pinnacle point in college that I relaized that I needed to change who I was. No longer a punk kid who can shoot his mouth off, I needed to be a softer, kinder person. A hugger vs. a hand shaker because how people percieve me is important and should be important to most people.Was it the christmas carol in July when I realized this? Was i visited by the three spirits that once changed one man's life so dramatically? Maybe it was, who am I to say. Regardless I changed and never looked back. I laugh more, I listen more, I all around live more and thats what i think anyone reading this should understand. Life is short. Everyone has an understanding that life ends but what most people do not expect is that life can end at any moment. How do you care to be percieved? How do you want to be looked at? So take a good hard look at yourself. Ask yourself if you are who you want to be. If you find yourself shaking your head no, then make that change. It won't be easy nor will it happen over night, but it will lighten your life, and for that matter, anyones life who is connected to you.

Change

Originally posted- March 2, 2008

After a long trip back to Wisconsin from Chicago (not really but a good 2.5 hours) I had time to reflect and think about life in general. What did I think about? Just the usual things that people think about when they drive; "wow, did that guy seriously eat that booger?", "I wonder if anything good will ever come up on my ipod?" You know, nothing pertaining to actually driving. Today was different, i thought about change and how change can really affect your life. Not that type of change where you can't stand a certain song so you want to change it, seriously, i think my wife was drunk ituning and downloaded the whole collection of New Kids on the block. Rather todays thought of change came in athe form of family and how quickly family can change on you. One minute you remember playing outfront, shooting hoops with someone and the next minute you two never have time to think of shooting hoops, let alone actually shooting them. So to direct myself more to my point of where I am heading I will re-route this simple, yet sloppy blog in the right direction. I stayed at my in-laws house for past few days and I have come to love this family. There are 8 brothers and sisters all together, including my wife, and then their is the puppy charlie, or as I liked to call him, humpy because he loves to lay in and have a good time. My wife is the second oldest of the 8, the oldest already moved out and is living a great life with her husband. Anyhow! back to my point. I see changes already happening in the family. Not bad, not good, but normal run of the mill changes such as certain people not hanging with other certain people and bad decisions being made by other individuals. Yet, all I can do is sit back and watch as if I was an outsider piering in through some window wanting to help everyone out but no one is looking my way. Yes, this is normal. Yes, most people have to find things out on their own, but sometimes I wish I could just step in and say hey, maybe ou should think of doing it this way. Full knowing that my stepping in could actually alter the entire space time theory and somehow create a gigantic rip that could ultamtely and single handedly wipe out all life as I know it.....i breathe, take a step back, and let life take its course. But does it always have ot be this way? Is there a possibility that maybe, just maybe, someone wil grasp what I might mention and think to them self, "Hmm, maybe he was right and I should make the other choice." Either way I often fine myself trying to put right things and situations that should be out of my control yet I feel like someone might need my help ( even though. lets face it, its not like i will be all that helpful anyhow) So, as I drove today I thought about change and how change affects everyone. Even in the simpliest matters. I thought about how this weekend I had an amazing time with this amazing family who had truly taken me in as their own. And I thought about how should cherish that thought and keep it dear to me cause this could change at any moment and the dynamics could forever be altered. Once again readers, all 2 of you (come on fan base, do something here!) remember what you have at this moment. Take anything good you have and anything that just puts a smile on your face and lock that in your vault. You never know when you might need it down that long and twisting road called life. Because when that sun sets and your cruising along that road and you need something bright to help give you direction, you just might take out that one time. Its those times that keep us motivated to keep going, and loving life.

the ramblings of a mad man.....heck yeah!

Home

Originally posted- Feb 29, 2008

hey everyone! So todays blog comes from my iPod since I'm in Chicago and not home. So let me ask this question, when do you feel at home? Is it when hour listening to your favorite song that takes u back to you 8 th grade dance where u danced with you know who and you put your hands you know where? Or is home a familiar food like when you bite into a certain snack and your brain swirls in an orgasm of taste? For me, I have been living in Wisconsin for the past 7 months and getting pretty homesick myself. So I have been looking for that home feeling in whatever I can. So as this rant might seem pointless there is a point I want to make. I want you to take the time and think what makes you feel like home. Then think about it and go for it. Maybe u need to listen to that one song by that one band that changed your life. Maybe you need to read a childrens book that u remember reading that made have changed your outline on life at age 5. Heck, reach out and offer your hand to a long lost friend that you might have fallen out of contact with just to say hi! Just remember what your home is and never forget, you might never know when you will find yourself living in a Wisconsin and need a boost

Welcome one, welcome all

Originally posted- Feb 25, 2008

Today was a particulary hard day, considering it was a Monday and unlike the rest of the days of the week, this one often comes with its own case, which is generally referred to as "a case of the Mondays." Yes, the one day of the week that seems to drag unwhilling long as you stare desperately at your clock hoping that those digitals speed up. Yet to no pravail your weak and rather shotty attempt to control time just ends up falling flat and ultametly seems to slow time down. Hmmm, so how does one get around a "case of the Mondays"? Well there is always the drink one silly attempt on Sunday night which in hopes forces you to avoid monday all together by playing hooky and aiding your overly endulged hangover. But that doesn't help me since well, I am not a drinker. Oh wait, there is the pretend to work theory that actually takes a lot of work in itself to make sure that your boss doesn't walk around the corner and catch you playing your umpteenth game of book-worm. So the last option, aside from actually barrelling through your day by actually working, is actually my favorite of the three. The stare aimlessly into space and get lost in one thoughts. Yes! a perfect time to make that list of things to get done after work, or that grocery list of things you need to buy but most likely shouldn't because the winter fat isn't helpful in the summer. So to all my readers, which makes it like 1 or 2 of you. You are not alone. We all face the horrid day called Monday. Some might face it chin first while others perfer to slouch their way through it. Regarless on how you actually face this beast, remember. Tomorrow is Tuesday, which is you think about it, its actually 6 days away from

Winter Blues

Originally posted- Feb 24, 2008

As all of you may know, winter can be a harsh time of the year. Christmas has come and gone, leaving credit card debt, sadness, and a bleak outlook that winter is going no where. I took a job up in Madison WI this past August with high hopes of change. Well, to be quit frank, there was plenty of change, just not all good. It seems that this winter has been the worst in many years. Now coming from Chicago I thought, hell, how much different can it be, winter is winter, right? Not a chance! It seems that something called salt is absent from the roads which puts anyone with a rear wheel drive car in a pickle. Not to mention the fact that plowing up here is rearly done correctly. What's interesting about this is that I hear native Wisconsin-ites (is that right?) complaining about the roads as well. Then there is the forecast. Why must they always say light flurries? When I hear light flurries I hear that snow won't be sticking but it will be flurrying outside. Not likely here. Light flurries actually seems to mean 2-4 inches of snow, and I do hear light flurries alot. Ahh well, we all face the winter blues some times and all we can say is that winter is half way through, atleast for me from what I understand! So go outside, build a snowman, go sledding and remember that Spring is closer then it may seem.

Starting Again!

I am updating my blog from my myspace blog, so bare with the many post that might fall under here to catch me up with the myspace blog. Both blogs will be the same. I am doing it this way so readers don't have to travel myspace to find this. These are rambles, ideas, feelings and whatever come across my mind. Enjoy and feel free to comment on this! I would love to hear from anyone. =)

Dan